5th November 2009
Letter from Big C Hospital:
Dear Dr S,
Re: Ms Sarah Mendoza – DOB: **/**/**** NHS Number *** *** ****
**, M*** **** Road, Northolt, Middlx, *** ***
This lady had a mastectomy and immediate LD flap reconstruction with implant last week.
I am happy to say that she had an excellent result with no complications. There was no seroma on the back, the wounds have healed. She has developed a mild rash from the dressing and for this I have prescribed hydrocortisone cream on the advice of Mr H.
I understand she is seeing Ms S on 4th November for her oncological follow-up and we will review her again in three to four weeks to see how she is getting along.
I've returned back to theatre with a sense of relief and excitement. I can finally concentrate on the forth coming production at Questors. I’m full of ideas and I want to use them. A lot of costumes are completed, but we have come up with ideas for the carnival scene which need to be put into practice. So I have to get the sewing machine up and running at home once I have rested my arm for a little bit longer.
The movement is coming back I can lift my arm more the half way now, but the sharp pains I get in the breast keep throbbing as a reminder. Steve keeps rubbing my back the nerves there are totally shot. There is limited feeling there and wearing a bra is like having a knife cut into your back. I am so grateful that I have small breasts. I have resorted to one day on and one day off then I’m not so sore. They told me I needed a well fitted bra, but there is nothing to fit really. So I went to Marks and Spencers and bought simple cotton bras. Yes there are specialist bra places for people who have had mastectomies, but I don’t have the money to pay forty pounds a time. A sling shot is a sling shot in my eye as long as you get the right size.
I feel guilty I have not planned anything for Sophia 5th birthday. My husband is too busy with his own business to even think of taking control. All he is interested in is inviting his friends round because it is a reason to party. Sophia does not mind, but later she did say I had no friends’ mummy. I felt sorry for her because she has been neglected. I made sure I bought her a birthday cake. That she had candles to blow out, but she had no party dress or her hair done. But we did manage to get the rockets she asked for and the Barbie doll.
I moved to London thinking my husbands’ community would help us. When really it is a case of them being to busy. Not even, Sarah can we take Sophia out so you have a break? Nothing! Now if I was up north I would not have to ask. My community kicks in no matter if you say no. They are there for you from the beginning even for a chat. All the way through my friends were saying come up north rest here. That is what I miss more than anything.
I want the so called friends of my husband to step up. Instead they come round when a lot of the problems have been solved. Yes to celebrate my daughters’ birthday, but it shows what they think of me.
No wonder I feel like an outsider looking in.