We try to believe our life experiences tames the lion in all of us, but sometimes when we least expect it. It will rear its head like a hidden monster whether it is an opinion or straight forward venting. There is no protection from its wrath. We still suffer the scars both emotional and physical, but the anger never abates. I now question what my BC nurse was trying to say. That I am not part of this journey that others are on. Not that I did not have cancer because I did, but my whole attitude and reasoning.
If we are not careful we become hard and cold. Someone who thinks they are creating a get well atmosphere. Will find anger if they tread the boards wrongly. The forums I watch can easily turn into a school yard full of bullies. Their opinion/ response maybe valid and just, but the way they vent this opinion/ response can leave someone in a weakened and vulnerable state. Especially when one voice becomes a group of voices each whispering. The true nature of cancer is the ugly hidden side we dare not admit to. Cancer has not changed the individual it can give the individual and excuse to rant. We hide behind words of ‘Your Stressed’ ‘Don’t be bitter’ & ‘It is your problem not mine’ too easily to explain our irritability. To actually validate our actions in open text for all to see, but I find this is who we are not the cancer. You do not have to be affected by cancer for these words to flow.
In some cases when it is harmless fund raising do we not have a choice in decision making? We can either decide to donate or not to donate. When someone says they are tired of people requesting cash because they don’t have cash to spare. That is a valid point and accepted. It is an endless conveyer belt of donations that is thrust upon us. My daughter is constantly bringing pieces of paper with various ways the school she attends needs to raise cash, but can’t we just say - No! Do we have to feel pressure or guilt for wanting to do something good? I was in a long discussion today about this very practice. How can we achieve a goal without the pressure?
Sometimes we hide from saying our true feelings the protective bubble we trust bursts. Then innocent outspoken comments can lead to tears and tantrums. The individual in question is left confused because they did not expect the flow of emotions people thrust at them.
I know several people who have now retreated from the forums due to this very event. Are forums a danger to our health? Is a forum the right place to raise cash? Only you my friends can answer these questions I put forth. My opinion is we live in a democracy of choice not the shadows we build.
We believe with age we learn, but gossip will never leave communities because we thrive on its destruction.
I have faults in my personality, but I will not entertain bitching. I am the type of person you have to actually physically hurt first to get a response from. Not everyone on this planet was put on it to love me and my quirky ways. So if I hear any negativity about me and what I am doing I move on. Either that or I wait quietly until that person realises I cannot be swayed into a negative corner so easily. No-one can influence my opinion or reflection on my constant questioning. I will always see a positive light in someone. But when do we as a community drop our complaining and unit in a common goal. To clear the word CANCER from our dictionaries.Personally I am still doing the 'Race for life' not just as a fund raiser, but as a lesson for my youngest. She needs to learn that giving comes from the heart not from the pocket.