Wednesday, 29 June 2011

A Simple Life Without BC

A friend contacted me via my FB page yesterday. One of her friends had passed away of BC and she wanted advice on what to look for. My breast cancer hides the true reality of the disease. There was no chemo or drugs. So visually with my clothes on I was like every other person walking and talking. It was the perfect diagnosis to have with the type of cancer I had so I was told. My treatment was hidden from view beneath clothes and a smile. She could not see my tears, torment or frustration, but with her other friend it could not be hidden. Her cancer had been caught to late it had spread to her stomach infecting major organs. It is sad that she had to experience let alone see the true reality of this dreadful disease. That it took the death of her friend to make her pro active and try to understand. Now I personally can see why pink has become a deadly colour. Whilst it is a bright cheery it is masking something that is sinister.

I reply with how I found my BC that if she wanted one on one advice she was to contact Macmillan cancer support. When advising anyone on cancer I personally prefer referring them to a knowledgeable organisation because even though I have gone through breast cancer there is a lot I still do not know.

On my journey home from dropping Sophia off at school I look into some ones garden. In the garden is a massive dandelion clock. Part of me wants to make a wish and blow its seeds away in hope, but another part of me is reminiscing. Dandelion clocks hold a fairy tale attraction just like a mushroom rings. As a small child I would shout, ‘Don’t step in a mushroom ring a family of fairies live there and its bad luck’. Well maybe at some point I stepped in a mushroom ring without me knowing. I look at this dandelion clock and the urge to wish all the bad would dissolve away is so strong. Yet part of me is mesmerised with its delicacy that I would sooner watch the wind knock it about. As a BC survivor I so wish I could return to a simple life without the worry. As a BC survivor sometimes you cannot stop the fear of what ifs.

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