Friday, 26 August 2011

Beating Mr Grumble...

These past few days have been extremely hard for me because I am having down time. Down time is when Mr Grumble is starting to cause issues. I struggle badly with wanting to hibernate or just work through its hard felt grip. I was invited to meet up with a few BC friends, but I could not face being around people. My sullen attitude would not help these ladies on their personal journeys some more serious than mine.

All I want to do is just curl up in silence and do nothing. Yet has a mother of a six year old child it just is not possible. Why should my daughter suffer for my down time?

Depression is a peculiar illness to suffer from because each person is unique in how they deal with its effects. I have always suffered from mild depression as far as I can remember. Its bouts can be really debilitating, but I like to resolve its unwelcomed visits my way because I am stubborn. I know what has started the spiral and look for ways to regain the balance.

I have had really bad moments even when I was young so bad that on a couple occasions I took over doses, but I quickly realised looking for a quick exit was not the solution. If I was to find a moment of peace from Mr Grumble I had to except and understand how he was created in the first place.

Someone once said if you spend your life pleasing others without understanding why? You will forever keep bumping into Mr Grumble. This is very true because we tend to neglect how much the pleasing process impacts on our personal wellbeing.

The shadows Mr Grumble casts on some one’s life are so intense it can leave you weak, helpless and at its mercy if not managed correctly. So I sit back and say right it is down time which means me time. I find a quiet space organise my thoughts and look at how I can calm Mr Grumble.  

I have known for sometime that certain foods Mr Grumble thrives on due to me being a type 2 diabetic. So if I feel his presence getting close I will change my routine. Or even switch off to certain things that I know will enhance its prolonged stay. There is no cure for Mr Grumble only good management so I have been told.
If I can give any advice for someone who has Mr Grumble intruding on their lives it would be the one bit of advice I recieved from a shrink. Don't shut down find a friend or someone impartial to talk too. Silence is Mr Grumble's weapon and being pro active by clearing the cobwebs can help.

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