Friday, 24 February 2012

Sunflower, Laughter and a Butterfly

The other day I sat in a room with seventeen other women all affected by BC. I looked around thinking so this is it. This is where the rainbow lands and theses ladies are the crock of gold. Some are in deep thought searching for reassurance whilst others have beaming defiant smiles. There are no answers because no-one has asked any questions. The silence is broken by laughter and that’s the one thing that breaks the tension in the room. Laughter is the release button, Laughter is a safety button because if we lost the laughter then it be a room full of tears.
Breast cancer drags you from the comfort zone of complaining about menial issues into a new reality of frailty and vulnerability. As I look in the mirror at my imposter I still cannot believe my story is actually my reality. When I talk it is like I’m not that person, but the story teller. I’m the jester not the queen in the pack forever laughing at my health issues. Sometimes I lay in bed wondering what next. I listen to the echo of footsteps and people arguing after a skin full of booze, and I think what a waste. I envy the fact they have a body full of healthy cells that may never explode. Then I think, but I’m glad it is me because the argument they are having is really pathetic.

Dear Dr S

Re: Ms Sarah Mendoza – DOB: 29/07/19** NHS: *** *** ****

18 **** **** Road, Northolt, Middx, *** ***

1.    Left breast cancer
2.    Left latissumus dorsi and implant reconstruction, November 2009
3.    Capsulotomy and implant adjustment February 2011
4.    NAC reconstruction, June 2011 and tattooing November 2011

I reviewed this lady in Mr W clinic today as she was incorrectly booked under this Consultant. She is generally very happy with the result of her reconstruction and not keen for and re-tattooing of the NAC. She has achieved a reasonable cosmetic result although the implant is slightly high and lateral but she has excellent in bra symmetry. She is not keen to have further intervention and therefore i have arranged for her to be reviewed in Mr H clinic in one year’s time.

Your sincerely
Dr M
SpR in Plastic & Reconstruction Surgery


  1. I think we all need a hug Kathi... So a big hug to everyone on this cancerland journey especially for you

  2. If we couldn't laugh we'd all just curl up & die. But because there is still laughter we somehow make it through. Hugs, Marilyn

    1. Very true Marilyn.. Laughter is the one thing we share .. even when tears are shed.. we still manage a smile to brave the hard times of treatment..