Saturday, 29 September 2012

Defining a Breast Cancer Diagnosis

It is ten days into my first session of chemotherapy and my mouth is feeling like a rough badgers arse. I have a sore on the corner of my lip developing. I've had my bowel movements play up for seven days until senokot came to my rescue. Thrush oh, yeah bloody thrush jeezzzz! I hate thrush. Plus I can’t ignore a tender itchy head also. To sum it up the side effects of chemo are slowly creeping into my life. Yet I still maintain a smile!!!

On speaking with my BC nurse she says, so Sarah when did your treatment start. My reply exactly three years ago today. She said, Oh no back then that was not a true cancer Sarah. No your treatment now? Now I am thinking Mmm! hang on if it weren’t a true cancer what does recurrence actually mean.
Oxford Dictionary time: happened again or repeatedly..
I am such a sarcastic clever arse when people treat me like an idiot. Maybe I should hand the dictionary to my BC nurse next time.. mmm now would I do that?...
Of course I would.. I like to see faces to upturn with frustration...
This is why being a part of the breast cancer lottery within a world of jargon creates anger. Anger because how can you say the start of my treatment actually has no part in a recurrence of stage 3 cancer. I bite my lip with a smile and go up stairs to add a few pounds to the Macmillan coffee morning. On returning home I look at my friend and say, I am just a damned Guinea Pig with a large price tag mounting. If I had lived in America no insurance company would insure me. She tilted her head and agreed because she is from America. We are so lucky in the sense we have the NHS in the UK, but sometimes when I check past blog postings even I have doubts. I know it isn’t the NHS that is the problem, but the constant pressure for cut backs that lead to failings in treatment. My blog is three years of do they? Should they? Have they? Could they be messing up?

I was told when moving to London by nurses who had moved from London. Sarah whatever you do don’t get pregnant whilst you live in London and if you do be on the ball or get back up north. Now for two separate nurses to say that on two separate occasions away from each other says a lot about the NHS system in London.
My BC nurse does have a habit of putting her foot in her mouth at times.
By her saying, but your first lot of treatment did not involve cancer would make anybodies eyebrows raise. The evidence and test results with the word recurrence tell a different story. Were they trying to make savings? Could more of been done to prevent the recurrence? Well plenty people did say why weren’t you on Herceptin on such a strong HER2 result? Even if it was just pre-cancer surely that warranted you having that drug as a precaution measure. The fact Herceptin is advised on a strong pre-cancer diagnosis and has advantages on preventing a recurrence leaves question marks on my treatment I don’t doubt, but while a patient is seen as a mounting pound sign. We are indeed in a dark place.....

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